If you wanted me

sometimes i feel like people reserve special looks, just for me without even really realizing it. which, when you think about it is kind of funny, when i have a camera lense pointed at them, or maybe i'm just good at seeing people a certain way; i'm not sure but it makes my photos more interesting, i can photograp an object in wonderful lighting and make it look like it might have somekind of narrative, but either way i always feel like there's something missing. it is usually that there is no people in the photograph, because a face is completely unique and when you follow the lines and features that make up someones' face, it gives you an indepth insight into their personality, especially if you catch them a little off guard.

i guess i just really like photographing people, and getting to know them in that way

This Old Machine

I watched Cool Hand Luke, with Paul Newman. It was funny and cute for a prison movie haha. I don't feel inspired to do any work. I shouldn't say that, I'm just unmotivated. No matter how much I do, there's always more to do, the problem is, what I have to do is boring. I'm trying to make it interesting though.

My brain is officially boggled, I think I forgot who I was for little while there, trying to fit into a new situation and lifestyle, but one little purchase brought me back to the person I remember being. I wasn't even sure what I liked, and got so confused but suddenly it all clicked.

I finally bought a black leather bomber jacket which I've wanted for so long. And some combat boots, I'm the girl who would rather watch a movie and make art then go and get drunk. I'm the girl wholoves to read tragically beautiful novels, like The Bell Jar, or White Oleander. I'm the girl who can't actually say how she feels unless it's put into an art piece. I like make up and jewelry but I like to wear tshirts and jeans and get messy with paint and clay and plaster. I like my music loud, to the point where it bursts my ears. I like feminist art, and conceptual art...and well just art in general. I like big fluffly snowflakes, and the warm breeze of a summer's evening. I like outerspace, I like stars and black holes and planets. I like the ocean, and am fascinated with it. I like to swim and feel my fingers and toes get all pruney.

And I hate the taste of pineapple!

i know i know i know

i miss writing in a real journal, with doodles and scripted words.

or maybe sketch book pages. I miss drawing in my room with loud music, i think.

so much to do.

hours and hours and hours

in a dark room

in the dark room

so many prints

hair dye

wild things

drinking

dancing

wet socks

crying

laughing

sleep.

sillysillysilly

i'm a soldier, but I don't know how to fight.

wishwishwish i was brave enough

The Frug

It is a few months later, and I'm still itching to go to ireland, to just keep moving and moving and soaking up the world with every fibre of my being.

I've been feeling a little out of touch lately, I feel like I forgot why I came here and that I just kind of kept going through the motions after being sick. I lost my momentum, but I think I'm slowly regaining it back. I've got a billion and one photo ideas that I can't seem to be able to contain which will have to get done this weekend because otherwise I will explode. I think I'll have to do a lot of random favour asking.

I just really wish I had a studio space of my own to make really big art in. And I'd really like to be able to paint my own walls.

I have been listening to an obscene amount of rilo kiley recently for some reason, it helps me concentrate

i can do the frug, i can do the robocop

i've also decided on my tattoo, my very first

since i'm not entirely sure about the design of the sailboat that i want

i'm instead going to get my favourite quote from my favourite poem

that is by e.e. cummings

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

and hopefully i will get some blue forgetmenots around it.

it's for the people i've lost.

Cl(air)e

Sometimes lonely hearts they just get lonelier.

I hate saying goodbye.

Ocean and a rock

i guess i'm really not that good at letting go of things as i would like to be, because when you look at them and look at the trash can next to it i see an impossible decision and terrible fear of forgetting. I forget everything, and I hate that. Oh dear. It's awkward because it's made me awkward because i don't know how to talk about it with people I don't know very well, and sometimes I'm not mentally present and i don't know how to bring myself out of it.eep. what happened to my attempt at carpe diem??

oh ya tiredness caught with me...plus a sore throat. bleeeh

Moments are pearls.

don't you just wish you were this happy all the time?
those moments of complete bliss that you take anytime you can get.
i wish eyes could take pictures when we blink and magically appear as a print.